Until I met you ~

I Never Loved
Lived
Breathed
Felt
Or Cared
Until I met you
I Never Wanted
Dreamt
Yearned
Desired
Or Really Lived
Until I met you
I Never Trusted
Believed
Hoped
Aspired
Or Cherished
Until I met you
But Now,
I Never Hurt
Cried
Suffocated
Ached
Or Felt this kind of Pain
Until I met you…

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Demons ~

Walking through a dense fog
Created by my own demons
I shudder as they stare
Can they see what is inside?
I try to keep it hidden
Protected from the world
Not allowing anyone in
Yet now it is completely controlling me.
A pretty smile on my face
A twinkle in my eye
This facade for the world to see
Do they know I’m dying inside?
Is the pain starting to bleed through
Seeping out from within
Poisoning the words that escapes my lips
Dulling the luster in my hazel eyes.
It slowly consumes me
The high that comes from the pain
The pain that comes from the venom
That races through my veins
Living to kill me.
Don’t get too close
It’s safer that way
Better for you to not be tainted
By the poison that is encompassing my soul.
You can’t save me
No one can
Not anymore
Not from this…

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Changed ~

Closed off
Unfeeling
Hateful
That’s what they say

Quiet
Reserved
Dark
Might be an accurate assumption

Why won’t she let me in?
What’s happened to her?
She’s changed
I’m protecting myself

She rarely smiles
Why does she appear so empty?
I miss the sound of her laugh
I miss it too

I don’t understand her
Where is her head at?
I can’t get through to her
Just please stop trying

She’s not the same person
I don’t know what else to do
Does she even see who she has become?
Do I even care what you think you know?

I hope she finds herself again
She seems so absent
She needs to let someone help her
I was never lost

I’m right here
Encased in this protective shell
Hardened by your vile behavior
Hiding from your ignorance and false assumptions
You made me this way
Maybe I have changed
And so should you…

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

When the Devil falls for an Angel ~

Silver Tongued Devil by C.S. Bailey
His words cut through heart strings like razor blades,
Slithering like silk, his words infect.
Saying all the right things,
Until your admiration cascades.

Haunting your thoughts with a brighter future,
Sipping from your personality.
making you hang on his every word,
Promising to mask your pain like a suture.

Calling you out from your protective notions,
Laying you bare for his every demand.
Crushing your cravings with every touch,
Fiddling like a surgeon with your emotions.

Your wide eyed as you revel,
Swamped by his lust for you.
Bound by his needs,
In love with a silver tongued devil.

Scarlet Angel~
Her words so angelic to his ears
The melodic silkiness wraps around his slithering facade
Everything about her is virtuous
His adoration for her swells

Invading his already poisoned thoughts
Filling his soul with her light
Making him breathe in her every word
Extinguishing his pain from deep within

Breaking down the walls from which you are hidden
She tears you open exposing you for you who really are
Igniting your senses with her every touch
Your emotions raw and filled with lust

Her eyes void of sin as you welter
Drowning in your thirst for her
Enslaved by your needs
In love with a Scarlet Angel

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Fall ~

Out of nowhere it suddenly strikes
Cuts down to your core
And your insides ignite

What felt so dead
Isolated and cold
Is starting to waken
While the fire takes hold

You want to run from it
You wish so badly to hide
Your brain tells you to fight it
And keep your heart safely hidden inside

Every breath that you take
Every moment you live
You keep fighting it off
Into your desires you cannot give

But at what moment
Will you finally let go
Let your inhibitions down
Let your blood start to flow

Shut out the nightmares
Break down all your walls
Take a chance on your happiness
And hope he catches you as you fall

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Lost ~

I never know what I’m going to feel
Day to-day my heart is trying to heal
It cries
It screams
It’s in so much pain
It smiles
It sings
Each moment never the same
My soul is so lost as it wanders around
It’s chasing the wind
While dancing to its sound
My mind is always anywhere but here
It’s chasing my dreams
Fighting through my fears
Every day is a battle for me
Every moment I’m lost in the sounds of my own melody
Hoping someday
I’ll figure it out all
And from somewhere within
I’ll remove all my doubt

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Ever so softly ~

It’s not everyday someone like you comes along
Your smile
Your warmth
Your unselfishness
The way you pick me up when I’ve fallen
I know there are trials and tribulations
Some days the ground quakes beneath us
We feel like we’re being sucked into total darkness
But even as we fall, I reach for you
When I do, you grasp onto me
Taking hold
Not letting go
Doing what you can to keep me safe
Softening the blow as we continue to spiral downwards
Two hearts calling out to each other
Two worlds of circumstance keeping us apart
This will never be easy
Love never really is
But as long as I can find you
As long as you don’t let go of me
Yearning will whisper from our hearts
Ever so softly ~

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

In Each Other’s Dreams~

Eyes of blue
Surrounded by seas of gray
Hiding in a mist of solitude
Thick walls of steel
Letting no one in
His public facade masking his private despair
Pushing people away
Despising most
A restless soul wandering
Searching for happiness
Chasing a fantasy
Wanting it for reality
Accepting what is
Yet holding on to what could be
Then he sees her
She shines light in his dark world
Unleashes a fire that tears through him
Igniting his soul into a burning flame
He craves to hear the silkiness in her voice
He yearns to taste her lips
He whispers her name in his dreams
Separated by a sea of tormented reality
Her light shines from afar
He calls out to her
Yet she is just beyond his reach
She begins to heal him from a distance
His soul becoming restless no more
The warmth of her laughter
Warms him from within
Until he can hold her in his arms
Touch her with his lips
He will touch her with his words
Her heart will begin to sing
Every night they’ll come together
And dance in each other’s dreams.

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Just you wait and see~

Pointing your finger
Calling me names
Never seeing your faults
On me you throw all the blame.

You can get angry
You can get mad
But when I open my mouth
It’s my fault everything‘s gone bad.

You say I live in the past
And I don’t even try
When I tell you that’s not true
You tell me I lie.

The pain that I feel
I’m dying inside
I want it all to go away
I just want to hide.

The years we had together
I thought it would never end
Now we’re two different people
I can’t even call you my friend.

Your anger and judgment
Your mind always closed
I can’t take anymore
I feel raw and exposed.

I’m sorry you’re so bitter
Why are you so mean?
I’m sorry I can’t fix this
I wish all of this could have been seen

You say no one will ever love me
Or be able to put up with me
Behind my glaring stare
There is so much hurt I won’t let you see.

I hope that one day you’re wrong
That there truly is someone out there for me
I’ll be happy, I’ll be safe, and I’ll be strong
Just you wait and see.

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Fire and Ice ~

You pulled me in, captured my heart.
You gave hope and brought the sun to light up my world.
You made so many promises.
The way you loved me.
The way you made love to me.
Your words would fill my soul and spread through my veins, lighting every fiber of my being ablaze.
I trusted you.
I believed you.
I bared my naked soul to you.
I should have known better.
You were perfect for me.
You said I was perfect for you.
You promised you would never hurt me.
Yet here I am, fallen and shattered.
Bleeding from the open wounds from which your stinging words flow.
I cry out until my screams turn into a deafening silence.
Begging for the pain to stop.
Wishing my heart ache would turn to anger.
Anger that would once again breathe life into me and pick me up off this floor.
A fire raging on that builds me up from the scattered ashes that I have become.
Burning away the pain, extinguishing the memories.
Lifting me from this hell that you once saved me from, yet cast me back into.
Taking from me all the love I had left inside.
Never trusting again.
Never being so vulnerable.
Protecting my heart from the cruelty of this world.
Knowing one day you’ll see what you had.
Someone who would have given you the world.
Someone whose love knows no bounds.
Someone that you even once believed you could never live without.
My heart may be fragile,
But I will keep it safe from now on.
Surrounded by fire and ice.
Forever fighting to extinguish the cold that will now replace the love you took from me.

Copyright ©2014 –ND White