Tragedy

His silence pains her,
as she weeps.
Her scars she keeps hidden,
buried so deep.

The torture she endures,
breaking her apart from within.
Tears stain her cheeks,
what she needs now is him.

Cold and withdrawn,
no mercy does he show.
The battle that she’s losing,
he will never truly know.

When she needs him most,
his back on her he turns.
Like acid to a flame,
the pain cuts and then it burns.

This tragedy is slowly killing her,
but he’s too selfish to give a damn.
So much she needs to say to him,
so much he’ll never come to understand.

As the light slowly darkens
behind her lifeless eyes.
She wonders if he’ll cry for her
when she finally dies ~

(C) N.D. White 2018

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Your Glass Castle ~

What did it feel like as you slept with him?
Did you think about his wife, his children, the sin?

The family whose hearts you’ll shatter.
The devastation you’ll cause, did any of that even matter?

Did the past you had with him make you feel justified?
The lying and cheating, does it make you feel alive?

Her heart broken and shattered because you took it all.
Nothing could be done as everyone watched her fall.

Your poisonous smile, evil behind those eyes.
Pretending you care and you’re sorry, nothing but venomous lies.

A life taken, suddenly she was gone.
Don’t pretend you’re f***ing sorry, isn’t it what you wanted all along?

Standing in the shadows, a smile twisted across your lips.
You watch with satisfaction while others are coming to grips.

Now you can have what you came for. She is out of the way.
It turned out better than you had hoped for, forever silenced, nothing more anyone can say.

Pushing your way in, pretending to be a saint.
Oblivious to what others see, looking at you with hate.

Hope you are content in this glass castle that you built.
Void of empathy for those you hurt, no sorrow or no guilt.

Dancing around in your twisted reality, others see right through.
Whispers behind your back, feeling undeserved pity for you.

You see, with each lie you spill from your lips, thinking you fooled us all.
Just like tiny cracks forming in delicate glass, you’re destined to crumble and fall.

~ (c) N.D. White 2017

Destruction ~

 

It wasn’t what her soul wanted
Out of nowhere the universe collided

Shards of hope breaking through the glass
Splitting her open
Tearing off her mask

Twisted threads of her blood did spill
Seeping through against her will

Poison finding its final escape
From the depth of her being
She finally did break

Slowly off the ground she rose
Ice in her eyes
Fire between her toes

Dancing around sanity’s edge
Threads of vengeance
Binding her to this ledge

Her breath hisses through the air
The smell of sulfur and lilies
Stain her hair

Feelings of hope
Feelings of rage
Exhausted from the struggle
Of being freed from this cage

Into the distance
Her icy stare
Connects with the demon
That has trapped her there

For no mercy shall she show
For because of him
Her blood runs cold

She opens her mouth
A snarl crosses her face
Deafness echoes around them
Then her siren scream escapes

You did this to me
Poisoned my veins with hate
Moral compass destroyed
Your destruction awaits ~

Copyright ©2017 – ND White

Waiting ~

What is this?
I don’t understand
The pain in my heart
It grows with each passing day
The silence screams louder
Threatening to break me wide open
Ignoring it won’t make it go away
Embracing it won’t fix it
My head is spinning
My heart is breaking
My soul is wavering
My senses are heightened
There is no way out
Take my hand
Show me the way
Love me
Support me
Comfort me
Embrace me
None too much to ask
Yet impossible for you
So I fight this battle alone
Knowing one day I’ll stop
I’ve already put down my weapons
Shoulders hung in defeat
Waiting for the earth to shatter
And just take me with it.

Copyright ©2016 –ND White

Thirteen years~

Thirteen years ago today
I had no idea it would be too late
To tell you that I loved you once more
Or to see you walk through my open door.

To call you up and say hello
Oh Mom why did you have to go
I’ll never forget when I got the call
I’ll never forget how it felt to fall.

My heart broke in half and was ripped in two
The night I had to say goodbye to you
Watching you lay there, so peaceful as if asleep
I grabbed hold of my chest and fell to my knees.

My final goodbye
I wasn’t prepared
As I cried by your bedside
None of this was fair.

Please don’t take my mom
Please bring her back
Please God I can’t take it
The ground beneath me  cracked.

Since you’ve been gone
It’s never been the same
Since you’ve been gone
I still feel the pain.

I love you so much
There’s still so much I want to say
Thirteen years isn’t enough time
It still feels like just yesterday.

Copyright ©2016 –ND White

Captive ~

Crumbling on the inside
Barely breathing
The pain ripping me apart
Every fiber of my being screaming
Heartache never wavers
My soul cries in silence
Tears fighting to escape
A wall built of fear
Never showing vulnerability
Shutting out the world
Safeguarding my soul
The secrets hidden within
Penetrating my thoughts
Poisoning my blood
Fighting for release
But confined tightly by these walls
Restrained and protected
Forever sheltered by the darkness
Holding me Captive…

Copyright ©2016 –ND White

Sacrifice ~

(For a dear friend, you know who you are…please don’t lose yourself…)

Free to be himself but wanting to be accepted
Yearning for a man’s touch
He has tasted that fruit
For that is who he truly is

Afraid of societal norms
Pretending to be someone he’s not
Only not to hurt the one that he loves
For she has loved him and accepted him
They call each other their own

But when he is taken by slumber
And his soul finally rests
His heart turns to another
And his soul reaches out
But not for her

Copyright ©2016 –ND White

His Far Away Angel ~

She smiles
He chuckles
A beautiful sight
A humbling sound
Neither to be seen or heard
Only to be felt, through the words on the pages

Secrets shared
A connection unbroken
Tied by depth and uncertainty
Things he won’t say out loud
But to her he bears all
Whispering to her soul
She has become his angel in the dark

Her wings have opened
For few she lets in
His soul speaks to her
She answers
Unjudged
Raw Honesty
Opening up completely
Unable to pull away

A bond between two souls
Separated by distance
Brought together by raging winds
Imperfections of both
Beautifully entwined
Destined to clash together ~

Copyright ©2016 –ND White

Beautiful Tragedy ~

Come out and play.
Not now, maybe not ever.
Not ever? But you have already, so many times.
I can’t, I shouldn’t.
But you can, and you should.
But why?
Because you need to.
Who says?
You do. You say it all the time.
You’re wrong.
Am I?
Yes
No my dear, you’re just in denial.
No….
Yes.
Explain, please.
It consumes you. Every thought you have while awake, then it haunts your dreams.
Go on…
Without it you’ll break. But it will break you.
No it won’t. It promised.
But it already has.
No! Stop it. You’re wrong…
I’m not wrong. Your soul is shattered. Piece by broken piece, you bleed as its words slice through you. An illusion full of venomous lies that keeps you trapped by a beautiful tragedy…
That is becoming you.

Copyright ©2016 –ND White