Changed ~

Closed off
Unfeeling
Hateful
That’s what they say

Quiet
Reserved
Dark
Might be an accurate assumption

Why won’t she let me in?
What’s happened to her?
She’s changed
I’m protecting myself

She rarely smiles
Why does she appear so empty?
I miss the sound of her laugh
I miss it too

I don’t understand her
Where is her head at?
I can’t get through to her
Just please stop trying

She’s not the same person
I don’t know what else to do
Does she even see who she has become?
Do I even care what you think you know?

I hope she finds herself again
She seems so absent
She needs to let someone help her
I was never lost

I’m right here
Encased in this protective shell
Hardened by your vile behavior
Hiding from your ignorance and false assumptions
You made me this way
Maybe I have changed
And so should you…

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

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When the Devil falls for an Angel ~

Silver Tongued Devil by C.S. Bailey
His words cut through heart strings like razor blades,
Slithering like silk, his words infect.
Saying all the right things,
Until your admiration cascades.

Haunting your thoughts with a brighter future,
Sipping from your personality.
making you hang on his every word,
Promising to mask your pain like a suture.

Calling you out from your protective notions,
Laying you bare for his every demand.
Crushing your cravings with every touch,
Fiddling like a surgeon with your emotions.

Your wide eyed as you revel,
Swamped by his lust for you.
Bound by his needs,
In love with a silver tongued devil.

Scarlet Angel~
Her words so angelic to his ears
The melodic silkiness wraps around his slithering facade
Everything about her is virtuous
His adoration for her swells

Invading his already poisoned thoughts
Filling his soul with her light
Making him breathe in her every word
Extinguishing his pain from deep within

Breaking down the walls from which you are hidden
She tears you open exposing you for you who really are
Igniting your senses with her every touch
Your emotions raw and filled with lust

Her eyes void of sin as you welter
Drowning in your thirst for her
Enslaved by your needs
In love with a Scarlet Angel

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Fall ~

Out of nowhere it suddenly strikes
Cuts down to your core
And your insides ignite

What felt so dead
Isolated and cold
Is starting to waken
While the fire takes hold

You want to run from it
You wish so badly to hide
Your brain tells you to fight it
And keep your heart safely hidden inside

Every breath that you take
Every moment you live
You keep fighting it off
Into your desires you cannot give

But at what moment
Will you finally let go
Let your inhibitions down
Let your blood start to flow

Shut out the nightmares
Break down all your walls
Take a chance on your happiness
And hope he catches you as you fall

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Lost ~

I never know what I’m going to feel
Day to-day my heart is trying to heal
It cries
It screams
It’s in so much pain
It smiles
It sings
Each moment never the same
My soul is so lost as it wanders around
It’s chasing the wind
While dancing to its sound
My mind is always anywhere but here
It’s chasing my dreams
Fighting through my fears
Every day is a battle for me
Every moment I’m lost in the sounds of my own melody
Hoping someday
I’ll figure it out all
And from somewhere within
I’ll remove all my doubt

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Ever so softly ~

It’s not everyday someone like you comes along
Your smile
Your warmth
Your unselfishness
The way you pick me up when I’ve fallen
I know there are trials and tribulations
Some days the ground quakes beneath us
We feel like we’re being sucked into total darkness
But even as we fall, I reach for you
When I do, you grasp onto me
Taking hold
Not letting go
Doing what you can to keep me safe
Softening the blow as we continue to spiral downwards
Two hearts calling out to each other
Two worlds of circumstance keeping us apart
This will never be easy
Love never really is
But as long as I can find you
As long as you don’t let go of me
Yearning will whisper from our hearts
Ever so softly ~

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Two Chicks Shooting the Breeze

Author Interview between the beautifully talented Kristina Canady and Myself.

Hello you salaciously dirty boys and girls. Thank you for joining the lovely Nicki White and myself this evening as we sit down and shoot the breeze as we enjoy this fine bottle of Frédéric Magnien Bourgogne Pinot Noir.
*Kristina holds up her glass and toasts Nicki
Kristina: So, tell me, what are you working on these days?

Nicki takes a sip and grins with delight. “Fabulous,” she says as she relaxes a bit in her chair. “Well, currently I’m writing Raven’s Undoing, which is the next book after Raven’s Innocence. Although, it’s been tough writing this one. My muse hasn’t been talking to me very much.” Nicki rolls her eyes sarcastically. “Before, I couldn’t get her to shut up.” They both laugh. “What about you? What do you have in the making right now?”

Kristina winks and lets a mouthful slide down her throat before answering. “My muse has been a bitch, playing hard to get. She even will visit for a brief moment to tease me before running off into the night, laughing hysterically.” refills her glass and offers to top off Nicki’s. “I am desperately trying to finish the last few chapters of part 3 in my series, I just can’t seem to focus. In part, it is mostly due to stress of being sans editor at the moment with a looming deadline.” *Rolls eyes and huffs. “Tell me, what do you do when your muse is being difficult?”

Nicki welcomes the extra wine into her glass. “Well, it depends. Honestly, my writing is fueled by emotion. Sometimes if I’m at a complete loss for words, I’ll dig deep down inside to try to figure out exactly what is bothering me most. Then I open up a word document and I spit it out on paper, usually in the form of a poem. It’s a release for me. It’s like my muse is able to break through that wall and breathe again.” Nicki pauses for moment and takes another sip of wine. “So you’re working on your series, who is your favorite character?”

Kristina: “My favorite character depends on which book we are in, I love Etienne in part 1, Sasha is a spitfire as well, but come part 2, we love to hate Sasha as she is going through a dark time and doesn’t deal with the grieving process as well as some might like. We feel for Etienne at this time and really bond with some of the side characters, getting an in-depth feel for the background surrounding the two leads. In part 3, I/we begin to love Sasha as she finally evolves into a character worth getting attached to as she claims our hearts.” *goes for some chocolates spotted next to the wine. “Tell me about Raven’s Undoing and the development of your series?”

“Pass that chocolate!” Nicki’s eyes light up. Chocolate is almost better than sex. Almost… “Well, where to start…. I always wanted to write a novel. I’ve had a lot of inspiration and another author was very encouraging and asked me one day, what do you have to lose? Just start writing. I had an idea, and went with it. I love Romance and I love Psychology, so I wanted to combine the two and come up with more of a Romance Thriller/Suspense type novel. Raven’s Undoing is part two. This is the book where you find out everything! The first one has an ending that will leave you gasping. Raven’s Undoing wraps it all up. I have very little patience myself, so I wanted to finish the story in two books.” Nicki pauses, contemplating what to say next. “In Raven’s Innocence, Raven has moved to a new city with her best friend to start her life over. She’s very introverted, yet also a spitfire. Of course she meets this, and falls head over heals, except something is very wrong with the whole situation. At first her new man seems perfect, and then all hell breaks loose. It’s a very emotional book.” Nicki bites into a piece of chocolate and savours the flavor. Yum. “So tell me, where do you come up with the names for your characters? They’re very unique. I like them!”

Kristina contemplates while sipping on her wine and allowing the chocolate pairing to explode over her tongue. “I love etiology and not everything is face value in my books, names too have a meaningful tie to the overall snapshot of the story I am delivering. Sasha’s name in a roundabout fashion means “Defender of People,” which is her evolving role and Etienne’s name… well I will stop there. But I will tell you as one who also appreciates psychology I like to play around with it myself, Etienne is a version of Steven and Sasha’s husband’s name is Stephan, so her choice is mirrored in the reflection of two men, grass could be greener, could all be a ploy, or a farce of her subconscious.” “Tell me, how thrilling do things get for your Raven?” *waggles eyebrows at Nicki.

Nicki blushes an intense shade of Crimson as her jaw drops. She can write about the unmentionables, but she can’t talk about it. Not without getting all embarrassed and choked up. She is gawking at Kristina frantically trying to think of what to say. Finally she clears her throat. “Well…..” She pauses and shifts a little in her chair. Clearly uncomfortable. She is wishing she could have something stronger now to drink. Straight Vodka might do the trick. “Well,” she begins again. “Raven is very reserved and Grant completely takes her by surprise the first time they….. well, you know.” Nicki’s face turns even redder as her eyes start darting around the room. “Let’s just say, she is not disappointed by Grant’s performance.” Without looking directly at Kristina, Nicki asks, “Is there…ya know….sex in your books?” She whispers ‘sex’ like it’s totally taboo and slinks down just a little in her chair.

Kristina puffs her chest and smirks, Nicki’s endearing shyness encouraging her devious edge. “Is there sex…” Kristina drags out the syllables, over enunciating for effect. “In part 1, I allude to it, ramp up for it and tease the hell out of the reader making them beg for it in the end. In part 2, the pair finally have an emotional and sexually charged reunion that ends up being the tip of the iceberg as they attempt to fulfill years of suppressed desires. Part 3… exploring sexual dominance becomes an underlying theme as the couple use it to rebuild trust and communication in the aftermath of Sasha’s traumatic experience. You see, Nicki, one should never be ashamed of sex or fucking for that matter as it is a beautiful form of self expression that truly enhances one’s life.” Kristina plucks a strawberry garnishment from the chocolate tray and pops it in her mouth, playing on the uncomfortable edge palpating from her shy counterpart. “Where do you draw inspiration for your kinky scenes?”

Nicki is rendered speechless by Kristina’s direct and explicit use of words. However, this also helps Nicki feel a little more relaxed, as odd as it may sound, because very few people really know that deep down inside, Nicki can be quite kinky and the shy reserved girl you see on the outside…. well, let’s just say that things aren’t always as they appear. “Okay, then. Honestly?” Nicki pauses and wonders if she’s ready to blurt this out loud. Hell, why not? Taking one more big gulp of liquid courage….“The inspiration I have for my kinky scenes comes from my own fantasies and the desire to have a man take total control of me. A man who can handle me, please me, grab my ass, spank it, and then send me straight. over. the. edge.” Nicki’s face reddens again in reaction to her own admission. She doesn’t say these things out loud. Ever. Too late now. She straightens in her chair with a new sense of heightened self-esteem. It felt good to say that out loud. “What about you? What inspires your kinky scenes?”

Kristina grins proudly at Nicki for her admission. Nibbling another chocolate and chasing it with some more vined juice from the gods, she clears her throat thoughtfully. “Hmmm, great questions. Many things inspire my scenes, where to begin… First off, I watch too many documentaries as well as read and research many aspects of sexuality, the psychology behind it and how it is practiced. From there, it doesn’t take much for this crazy imagination to run wild. My scenes draw a little from everything I learn and see. I also like to touch on aspects of sexuality that inspire women such as yourself to be bold enough to ask for what they want from their partners. Everyone deserves a partner that can handle them and give them what they need, but we have to be bold enough to stand up and communicate that. The new blog pieces I have been writing evolve around that theme. Helping women to overcome whatever roadblocks they need to in order to grab their sexuality by the leather straps and demand what they want or need. As much as we wish, our partners will never be able to read our minds. And yes, I do practice what I preach.” Kristina winks at Nicki as she drops the last line then quickly jumps off her soapbox. “Do you feel you hold back in your writing at all when it comes to writing your sex scenes or is that when you feel the safest to run free?”

Nicki contemplates that question for a few moments because this is the first time she has been asked this, and she herself, isn’t so sure. “Well, I do feel like in my writing, I am safest to run free for sure; however, I do hold back. I try not to, but it just happens. I didn’t even realize I was holding back until I let another author, who is also a very good friend of mine read my sex scenes. He’s a pro at writing them himself and does an amazing job. Anyways, after he read what I wrote, he told me that he felt like I was slightly holding back. He could tell I was uncomfortable writing it and wasn’t being true to myself. I rewrote a couple of those sex scenes quite a few times. He ultimately, rewrote them as well. I admit, when he was done and sent them back to me, he nailed it.” Nicki sits there for a moment in silence. She maybe has had an epiphany. She lives through her writing. She craves to be true, what she has written on paper. But she’ll never admit that out loud. She looks up at Kristina and admires her boldness and wishes she had that level of confidence; maybe some day. And note to self, read Kristina’s blog.
Nicki gulps down the last of what is in her glass. “Do you think Romance will always be your choice of writing?”

“Good question. What also makes it an interesting one is that for most of my life I gravitated toward historical fiction, mystery and thriller type novels that make you sit back and go ‘oh.my.god.’ Romance is a niche that I fell into as it was the most comfortable for me to write, and the pleasure I get from doing so is amazing. I have some childrens books in mind that I hope to do some day, under a pen name of course, and I hope one day to break into the contemporary field with an smart read that moves the soul as well as a mystery one day. Who knows! What about you? What aspirations do you have as a writer?” Kristina eases back in her chair comfortably, waiting on edge for Nicki to answer as she herself loves to talk about goals with people.

Nicki lightly taps her chin with the tip of her finger, another question she has not really given much thought to until now. “I have always written poetry, and always wanted to write a novel. It hasn’t been until this past year that I have become so serious in my writing. Honestly, the more I do it, the more I love it. I wish that I could quit my job and write full time. Novels, poetry, short stories, anything and everything. I love writing. Poetry and novels are my most favorite of course. Every poem I write is inspired by something I’m experiencing. It’s driven by emotion. In fact, in my novel, my most passionate and gut wrenching scenes, were written when I was experiencing a major emotional upheaval in my life. Writing is my outlet. I’m hoping the opportunity eventually presents itself where I can focus on that full time. I’ve never been more passionate about anything in my entire life, like I am about writing.” Nicki smiles at yet another honest admission. “Shall we pour another glass and keep going?” She relaxes back in her chair feeling some relief.

Kristina: “I too feel the same sense of passion and encompassing love when channeling my thoughts, fears, experiences and emotions through writing. I once read a quote that said, ‘The difference between a writer and someone who wants to write is a writer HAS to write.’ So true. Well, Nicki, I think we should pour another glass for ourselves and let these fine people get back to their busy lives. Thank you again!”

Nicki: “That quote is such a powerful truth!” Nicki smiles and raises her glass for Kristina for fill it back up. “It has been a pleasure, and a lot of fun.” She winks. “And Thank You as well.”

In Each Other’s Dreams~

Eyes of blue
Surrounded by seas of gray
Hiding in a mist of solitude
Thick walls of steel
Letting no one in
His public facade masking his private despair
Pushing people away
Despising most
A restless soul wandering
Searching for happiness
Chasing a fantasy
Wanting it for reality
Accepting what is
Yet holding on to what could be
Then he sees her
She shines light in his dark world
Unleashes a fire that tears through him
Igniting his soul into a burning flame
He craves to hear the silkiness in her voice
He yearns to taste her lips
He whispers her name in his dreams
Separated by a sea of tormented reality
Her light shines from afar
He calls out to her
Yet she is just beyond his reach
She begins to heal him from a distance
His soul becoming restless no more
The warmth of her laughter
Warms him from within
Until he can hold her in his arms
Touch her with his lips
He will touch her with his words
Her heart will begin to sing
Every night they’ll come together
And dance in each other’s dreams.

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Just you wait and see~

Pointing your finger
Calling me names
Never seeing your faults
On me you throw all the blame.

You can get angry
You can get mad
But when I open my mouth
It’s my fault everything‘s gone bad.

You say I live in the past
And I don’t even try
When I tell you that’s not true
You tell me I lie.

The pain that I feel
I’m dying inside
I want it all to go away
I just want to hide.

The years we had together
I thought it would never end
Now we’re two different people
I can’t even call you my friend.

Your anger and judgment
Your mind always closed
I can’t take anymore
I feel raw and exposed.

I’m sorry you’re so bitter
Why are you so mean?
I’m sorry I can’t fix this
I wish all of this could have been seen

You say no one will ever love me
Or be able to put up with me
Behind my glaring stare
There is so much hurt I won’t let you see.

I hope that one day you’re wrong
That there truly is someone out there for me
I’ll be happy, I’ll be safe, and I’ll be strong
Just you wait and see.

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Brand New Cover Release for Raven’s Innocence

Thank You Christa Holland, at Paper & Sage Design, for creating such a Hauntingly Beautiful Cover.
New Full Cover Reveal Picture ravensinnocence front cover

Raven’s Innocence re-launches this coming Friday, November 7th!

This is the perfect time of year to snuggle up inside and get lost in a novel. Raven’s Innocence is a Wickedly Delicious Romance Thriller that will keep you guessing right until the very end.

It has continued to receive 5 Star Reviews! Here is what some of the readers are saying:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fantastic Must Read!
By Christy L Pastore
This review is from: Raven’s Innocence: A Snowhaven Novel (Kindle Edition)
Wow! Loved this book! Truly an excellent debut novel from Nicky D. White! This was a book that kept me guessing right until the end. White hits her stride in her writing with vivid details and the creation of likable characters. There were so many unexpected twists and turns, it could not have been better.

Raven’s Innocence introduces you to Raven Pierce, a Psychologist whose specialty is helping people through their own emotional journey. However, when it comes to her own life things aren’t as easily diagnosed. Enter the sexy and mysterious Grant Alexander who drives Raven’s emotions to new levels of confusion.

Even the secondary characters were interesting – you’ll love Raven’s BFF Kat and their playful witty banter. Asher will “wooo” you with his charm.

There’s something intoxicating and wickedly delicious about Raven’s Innocence. I am ready for the sequel!

Fantastic job Nicky! I look forward to reading more from you!
~

5.0 out of 5 stars Witty, entertaining, a spectacular debut
By Amazon Customer – See all my reviews
This review is from: Raven’s Innocence: A Snowhaven Novel (Kindle Edition)
I love writing reviews for debut novels/books. This is probably the most exciting and nerve-racking time for a new author. Honesty is important.

I am thrilled to have been part of this experience for Nicky. Receiving your ARC and waiting vicariously with you for your book to go live was a new experience for me as well.

Your first book Raven’s Innocence was a spectacular debut. I enjoyed your story. Raven, your main character is well written and extremely likable. Grant, while complicated had an interesting dark side. He turns out to be quite mercurial and unpredictable. Your story touched on my emotions and was funny as well. There was a perfect balance. I love the relationship that Raven and her best friend Kat share. Their friendly banter makes reading about them entertaining. The story kept me interested and the ending was unexpected. I am really looking forward to the next book. I also hope to get more of Kat and Asher in the next book.

Entertaining, witty and the ending….

I gave this book 5 stars!
~

5.0 out of 5 stars a beautiful, smart woman whose world has been turned upside …
By Amazon Customer (USA) – See all my reviews
This review is from: Raven’s Innocence: A Snowhaven Novel (Kindle Edition)
Raven’s Innocence, the debut novel of Author N.D.White introduces us to Raven Pierce, a beautiful, smart woman whose world has been turned upside down by a freak accident and the appearance of Grant Alexander, the sexy, handsome attorney who comes to her rescue that night. As a psychologist, it is Raven’s job to help her patients navigate their emotional journeys through their lives, and she’s very good at it. However, when it comes to her own life, her feelings for Grant leave her confused and frustrated, and she is totally unable to figure out the complicated, enigmatic, gorgeous man. This is a deliciously wild ride of emotion, culminating in an ending that made me gasp! I’m looking forward to the author’s next book in the series… I’m hooked!
~

5.0 out of 5 stars SURPRISE !!
By Jodie – See all my reviews
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Raven’s Innocence: A Snowhaven Novel (Kindle Edition)
OMG!! I loved it. What a book ! I want more !!
The end left me hanging (pun intended)

Read this book

Here is the Official Book Synopsis:

“Intoxicating & Wickedly Delicious…”

Raven Pierce vowed to escape the hot and humid climate of Missouri and never look back. After completing her graduate program, she drags her sun-loving, winter-hating best friend to start a new life in Minnesota with its cold crisp air and blankets of snow. Raven’s main focus is her new career and truly establishing her own identity. The last thing she intends to do as she is building a new life is to fall in love. As her luck would have it, one evening a minor accident sends Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome to her rescue. What starts out as the perfect relationship begins to turn challenging when tragedy strikes and pulls her grief-stricken boyfriend into a dark and unpredictable frame of mind. As a psychologist, it is Raven’s job to help her patients navigate through their own emotional journeys and she’s very good at it. However, when it comes to her own life, her feelings for this new man combined with the unforeseen affliction leave her feeling frustrated and emotionally exhausted. Raven finds herself fighting for love in an unfamiliar, confusing, and sometimes dark terrain.

REMEMBER  Raven’s Innocence re-launches this coming Friday, November 7th!