The Indie Author

When I started this journey to write a novel, I really did not fully understand what it all entailed to become an Indie Author. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I admit, I still don’t truly grasp the concept yet because I am just wrapping up my first book. I still have to have it edited, a cover designed, get my ISBN, decide who to publish through, work on marketing and etc. And I just know that I’m leaving some things out still…..

Anyway, I need to get myself back on track here. The reason I’m writing this is because through this journey I have gained such a respect for Indie Authors. They really put themselves out there. They pour their hearts and souls into their work. I’m not saying that authors who do traditional publishing don’t do the same, but when you’re an Indie Author, you truly are doing it all.

I am learning so much through this process. I have connected with other Indie Authors who have been on this journey for quite some time now and they have been kind enough to share their knowledge with me and also their support. I shamefully admit that it wasn’t until I had a lengthy conversation last week with someone who I am starting to call a friend, the importance of leaving reviews every time you purchase a book from an Indie Author. Those reviews are VERY IMPORTANT and they need them.

Indie Authors need your support. We all need to stick together and support each other and help build each other up. Spread the news about their books. Help promote them. LEAVE REVIEWS WHEN YOU PURCHASE THEIR BOOKS! But most of all show them the utmost respect for their hard work and dedication that they deserve. Even if you’re not impressed with a particular book you’ve read, please don’t tear them down. Everyone has their own opinions’ and what you might find as a very unpleasant and dull read, another might find their own emotions and passions coming alive in the same story.

So as I am diving into this world of blood, sweat, tears, glory, passion, and great reward, I want to say KUDOS to every INDIE AUTHOR out there that is on this journey. And then to the fans that support them, I want to say THANK YOU! Because without you, there would be no US. God Bless! Xx

PS: I want to take the time here to show my support for Author AJ Linn who has written “A Gentleman’s Affair” and “A Gentlemen’s Secret.” A third book is currently in the works. He is an Indie Author who shows great promise and his books are very well written. You will fall in love in Donovan Hart and Scarlett Montgomery. I love that the books are written from a male’s point of view. It gives you a different spin on how men think. You won’t be disappointed!

Also, I want to show my support for Sydney Jamesson. She is the Author of “TouchStone for Play” and
“TouchStone for Giving”. Ayden Stone and Elizabeth Parker will pull you in and you will become addicted to their passion. You won’t want to put it down. It is such an Epic Love Story!

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Pain

The pain that takes over
A break in my breath
Feeling so much
Shattering my soul
Screaming through the pain
No one hears me
My tears are silent
My heart is weak
My emotions are raw
You’re just a whisper on my lips
And a knife in my heart

Copyright2014-ND White

Ravens Innocence ~ Unedited Excerpt ~ ‘Dessert’ Mmmm

The ride back to Grant’s place was too quick, yet not long enough. We didn’t talk to each other. Instead Grant had turned on the radio and I sent Kat a text telling her that I hoped she was having a good time with Ethan and that my evening was going great but I was not sure when I would be back at the apartment. I noticed Grant giving me a couple of quick sideways glances but each time I would catch him looking at me, he would divert his eyes back to the road quickly but then a sly grin would creep across his face as well. I would pretend not to think anymore of his sideways glances and continue to watch the Pine trees flying by under the star lit sky, as I stared out the window.
Truth is though, on the inside, I was freaking out. Our conversation at dinner did not go at all the way I expected. The way Grant looked at me with his turquoise eyes, like he wanted to devour me right there at the table, and apparently that is still on his agenda for the evening. The way he called me sweetheart; in a deep sexy purr. That was a first, and it’s something I look forward to hearing again.
And he wants to savor me for dessert? I’m not opposed to the idea at all, believe me, I’ve been fantasizing about having his body wrapped up in mine since I the night I met him, but now that it’s finally about to happen, I am about to crawl out of my skin with anxiety. I haven’t been with anyone for so long, not sexually speaking anyway. I have never been promiscuous. The few people I have had sex with, were people that I were in serious relationships with and grew to love. I may come across as flirty and sexually driven, but I am not licentious. I don’t like having my heart toyed with, not to mention all the dangers that come with having multiple sexual partners.
Hearing Grant tell me that he really liked me does put my mind at ease just a little. I really like him too. In the short time we’ve known each other. I think there might be real potential there for us. I’m trying to ease into this hopeful, yet cautious. Right now I am feeling all kinds of mixed emotions.
My thoughts are interrupted when Grant slows down and turns onto the road that leads to his house. Anxiety levels returning, pretty high too. Someone is going to need to un-stick me from the ceiling. He senses my anxiety and reaches over and places a hand on my leg. I look over at him and he winks at me, I smile in return.
I feel my heart starting to beat a little faster as I see Grant’s vastly exquisite home come into view. Grant slowly makes his way up the driveway and then parks his Touareg. Without saying anything he gets out and walks around and opens my door for me.
“You really don’t have to do that.” I’m just trying to find a way to break the ice.
“I know that. But being a gentleman never goes out of style.” Grant takes my hand and helps me step out down out of the vehicle. I shiver as the bitter cold wind wraps around us. “I guess I should have pulled into the garage. Let’s get you inside.” Grant keeps an arm wrapped around me as we walk up to the front door.
When we get inside he takes my coat and purse from me and puts them away. Then he gets his fireplace going and offers me a drink. I’m still feeling the effects of the wine from dinner so I ask for water, although some more wine might help relax me again, but I don’t want to make myself sick. I sit down on the sofa and Grant brings me a glass of water and has added a lemon slice to it.
“Thank You. Oh, you added lemon.” I say sweetly as I take the glass from him. I hate lemon. Especially germ infested lemon slices floating in my water. I thought I told him that before. He probably just forgot, but I’m not drinking that. I don’t want to sour his mood by reminding him of how disgusted I am when I see lemon slices floating in people’s glasses of water, so I painfully take the glass and put it to my lips and pretend to take a sip of it. Grant sits down on the opposite end of the sofa from me. I set my glass down on the end table beside me. When I turn back to look at Grant I see that he has a very seductive look on his face. I can’t help but blush, yet again.
“Blushing already Raven? We haven’t even got started yet.” Oh my, what does he mean by that? I feel my face heating up more and I know I have to be crimson red right now.
“What did you have in mind?” I ask, as if I don’t already know. I think I’m trying to buy time. I feel my heart about to beat out of my chest. I should forget stalling and just let him take me right here, right now.
“If I recall, we were waiting to have dessert once we got here.” Grant starts to inch towards me. “And we’re here now.” He’s still moving closer, passion starting to burn in his eyes. “And I am ready for dessert.” Without hesitation Grant’s mouth comes crashing down on mine. I am astonished by dominance as he wraps one arm underneath my back and starts to push me down onto the sofa while he runs his other hand through my silky curls. He is kissing me with such force, I am almost gasping for my next breath.
He starts to move his hand out of my hair and down the front of my chest. He moves his hand under my shirt and I feel it searching for the clasp on my bra. Panic sets in and I suddenly need for him to get off of me and give me some space. I break away from his kiss, breathing heavily. “Please Grant. Stop. Stop now. Please.” He quickly sits up with a perplexed look on his face.
“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He helps pull me upright into a sitting position with a look of worry on his face.
“No. No you didn’t hurt me. I just…” What is wrong with me? I’ve been waiting for this moment.
“You just what?” He asks me.
“I don’t really know.” I pout. “I just panicked I guess. I don’t know why. I think it’s because I…” Oh for shit’s sake spit it out.
“You what Raven?” He looks at me sincerely. “You can tell me anything you know.”
I look away embarrassed. I should not have interrupted what was happening between us. Grant takes his hand and gently places it under my chin and tilts my face back to meet his stare. He is waiting for me to answer him, searching my eyes for a glimpse of what is hiding behind them. “Why did you panic?” He whispers.
I take a hold of his hand and bring it down to my lap but I don’t look away from him. “I haven’t been with anyone for such a long time Grant.”
“And?” he encourages.
I just shrug my shoulders and give him a pouty look. I don’t have an answer for him really. What am I afraid of exactly, rejection? That’s absurd. We wouldn’t be here now if there was any chance of rejection; he would have already been long gone by now. Maybe it’s because it has been so long and I’m afraid of disappointing him. I want this to be perfect. But what is perfect when it comes to sex?
“Raven, relax. What matters to me is this, you and me. Right here. Right now. Nothing else.” Once again, it’s as if he has read my mind. I breathe a sigh of relief and I bite my lip out of pure embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry.” I let out a nervous laugh. “Leave it to me to take an incredible moment and instantly kill it.”
“Oh sweetheart, no need to apologize.” Sweetheart. I am swooning. “You haven’t killed anything. Maybe squeezed a little life out of it, but not completely killed it.” He smirks and I roll my eyes and giggle at his comment. “Raven, we don’t have to do this tonight if you don’t want to.”
“But I do.” I quickly respond. Grant’s eyes widen with surprise.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you doing anything you’re not comfortable with.” He starts stroking my hand with his thumb. He is being so considerate of my feelings right now.
“Trust me Grant, I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.” I flash him a sexy smile. “And right now, all I want to do, is you.” I hold his stare with a daring look.
Grant pulls his hand from mine and starts to get up off of the couch. “What are you doing?” I ask, instantly worried that I said something wrong.
“I think I’m going to take my dessert to the bedroom and devour it there.” He smirks with a wickedly devilish grin as he reaches down and pulls me up off the sofa. Butterflies are erupting deep inside me. I can’t believe we are going to do this, finally. I am so nervous. It is taking all I’ve got to move one foot in front of the other to follow him up the luxury grand staircase that leads up to the bedrooms. I’ve not been in Grant’s bedroom yet, I’ve had no reason to be before now.
Once we reach the door to Grant’s bedroom he stops before going in and turns to me. “Are you sure about this Raven? Because it’s not too late to change your mind.” What an odd thing to say, however it also excites me. I shake my head and blush, it’s all I can muster right now. Grant opens his bedroom door and pulls me inside.
His bedroom is huge. I think that me and Kat’s apartment could easily fit in this room. Well, close anyway. I divert my attention to his king size bed and the slate gray duvet set that is neatly made. I am impressed that he keeps his bedroom so tidy. It looks as if no one uses this room. In fact, from what I have seen, he keeps his whole house uncluttered and very clean; not your typical bachelor pad that comes to mind.
I don’t have much time to really take in the bedroom before Grant is standing behind me, arms wrapped around my waist, and he is lightly kissing the back of my neck. He’s not wasting any time, and I’m okay with that. I let out a low purring sounds. God that feels so good. Grant starts to tug at my sweater and I feel him leaving a trail of kisses from my neck down to my shoulder.
“I think it’s time that you lose this sweater.” He whispers this in my ear, which causes goose bumps to erupt across my skin. Just when I think that he is going to take it off of me himself, he steps in front of me and says “Take your clothes off.” I see desire burning in his eyes. I hesitate and look away from him, letting my insecurities take over and Grant senses this immediately. “Look at me Raven.” He commands. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. I think that you are beautiful. I want to watch you undress yourself slowly, so that I can take you all in, inch by inch.” He pauses and I see a shift in his stare. “It will be like unwrapping a present, that I have long waited to get my hands on, and play with.”
My whole body has to be the color of my red sweater right now. Wow, I can’t believe he just said that. I feel my cheeks flushing hot and the desire to have him ripping my sweater off and throwing me on his bed is burning through me. I swallow and take a deep breath. I’m telling myself I can do this. This gorgeous man wants to see me naked, all of me. He wants this. I want this.
I take a couple of steps back away from him and I slowly lift my sweater up over my head and toss it to the side. Grant gives me a pleasing look and nods his head signaling for me to continue. I reach down and unzip each one of my boots, but then Grant bends down and slowly pulls each one off of me very carefully insuring that I do not lose my balance. I nervously undo my jeans and slowly push them down around my ankles. Grant, still bent down, carefully pulls each leg of my jeans off of me and tosses them next to my sweater. Then he stands up and backs away from me and catches his breath as he takes me all in. I’m still wearing my sheer bra and panties, which leaves nothing to the imagination.
“God you are beautiful.” Grant is looking at me like I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, and this makes me feel blissful, to have him look at me and see such admiration in his eyes. I smile at him and without thinking wrap my arms around my waist in an attempt to cover myself. Grant steps towards me, takes hold of my wrists, and pulls my arms away from my stomach. “Don’t do that”.
“Do what?” I ask innocently.
“Cover yourself up. What did I just say to you?” He demands.
I look away from him embarrassed.
“Look at me Raven.” He is being awful pushy. I turn back to meet his stare. “What did I say to you? And do not make me ask you again.” What?
I stutter, “that I’m beautiful.”
“You don’t say it like you believe it Raven.” Because I don’t. His eyes are piercing. I lightly shrug my shoulders and force a weak smile. “Well then, I guess I’m going to have to convince you of it.” And how does he plan on doing that? Without letting go of my wrists, Grant starts backing me up until I feel the bed at the backs of my legs. I am so nervous I feel as if my legs might just give out on me at any moment. Grant lets go of my wrists and then pulls his own sweater up over his head and drops it on the floor. Then he gives me a sly sexy grin and takes a step back and starts unbuttoning the shirt he had on underneath. My knees are growing weak at the anticipation of seeing his beautiful naked body, but I don’t move from where I am standing.
When Grant lets his button down shirt fall behind him, I gasp in surprise at the beautiful artwork splaying across his lean and chiseled body. I had no idea that Grant had a tattoo, especially one of this magnitude and artistry. It’s of an old oak tree, and the base of the tree sits on his right side somewhere below his waistline, that I can see. The trunk of the tree comes up his side, and the branches are reaching out and wrapping themselves up around his torso and then his pectoral muscles and peak on top of his shoulder. The lines, the shading of blacks and grays, the detail, it’s all so extraordinary. I stand there and admire the artwork as he unbuttons his pants, not taking his eyes off of me once. He bends down to remove his pants from his legs and I see that the oak tree also wraps around to his back as well and continues upwards. It is one of the most magnificent tattoos I have ever seen.
Grant stands back up, only still in his boxers and slowly steps towards me. His eyes are burning with passion and I am trying to catch my breath, feeling anticipation and desire burning deep within me. He stops and presses his body against mine. He reaches one arm around my back and pulls me in close, and with his other hand he places his fingers on my cheek gently glides them down to my bottom lip, then down my chin, then he traces a line down my neck and my head falls back as his fingers keep going until they finally touch ………

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Ravens Innocence ~ Unedited Excerpt ~ ‘Sweetheart’

I don’t notice the waiter as he approaches with his arms full until he clears his throat to catch our attention. I quickly pull my hand away from Grant’s, but reluctantly. The waiter sets the entrees down on the table, offers us more wine, and then quickly leaves the table knowing he had interrupted some sort of moment between Grant and I.
“That was fast.” I mutter. Grant nods his head agreeing with me. I watch as he unwraps his silverware from the cloth napkin and then drapes the napkin in lap. I am replaying his words in my head, ‘I like you too Raven’. Thinking about them makes me blush all over again.
“What are you thinking that is making you blush?” Grant asks me with a sexy smirk on his face. I look away and unwrap my silverware and place my napkin in my lap as well. I’m trying to keep myself distracted but I feel my cheeks burning up as he doesn’t take his eyes off me. “Why must I always ask you something twice before you’ll answer me?” He says.
“Because you already know the answer, but I think you take great pleasure in watching me squirm.” I really think he does. He knows exactly why I’m blushing.
“Oh sweetheart, I have not even begun to make you squirm.”
I nearly drop my fork and then knock over my wine glass while trying to keep it from falling on the floor. Grant chuckles at me. He really is enjoying this way too much. I am so easily embarrassed and flustered, especially by him. This just re-iterates how much I do like him and the effect he has on me.
“If you must know, and I’m sure you do already, but I was blushing thinking about how you said that you do like me. I am relieved to hear that.”
“Relieved?” he asks.
“Yes, relieved. I wasn’t sure if we were on the same page or not. I didn’t know where this was going.” I’m still not sure if I’m clear on where this is headed. “Where is this going Grant?” I might as well ask.
Grant puts down his fork and leans in towards me, his turquoise eyes blazing a fiery blue. His voice is low to where only I can hear what he is saying. “First we eat. Then we’ll go back to my place, and I will show you exactly where this is going.”
I swallow. That’s all I can do is swallow, as my cheeks light up again. I feel a burning ache in my belly. He doesn’t take his eyes off me and I can’t take mine off him. I have suddenly lost my appetite for food. Check Please!
Grant leans back up away from me, picks his fork back up and smirks. “Your tortellini won’t eat itself Raven. And the sooner you start eating it, the sooner we get back to my place; and then we’ll have dessert.” And with that he takes a bite without taking his eyes off of me.

Copyright ©2014 –ND White

Ravens Innocence ~ Unedited Excerpt

My mind is racing. Did he just say that? Did I hear him right? I feel a flutter through my chest and I know I’m blushing. I wonder if the people we are passing see me blushing too. I am practically stumbling over my own feet trying to keep up. If Grant didn’t have a hold of my hand, I surely would lose him in this crowd.
The cold wind smacks me in the face as soon as we escape through a set of doors out of the arena. I welcome the bite though because I was feeling very warm and flushed from the crowd of people and from Grant’s sexual innuendo. Grant continues to hold onto my hand as we briskly walk towards his vehicle.
Grant opens my door for me and I get in, without looking at him. He closes my door and rushes to the driver’s side. Once he is in, I still avoid eye contact with him. I can feel my cheeks burning red and I’m trying so hard to not let a big grin break free. I look out my window and pretend to be focusing on the cars in the parking lot. Grant gets the car started and the heat going and then I feel him looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I keep staring out the window wishing he would say something.
“Raven.”
“Huh?” I respond still looking out my window, cheeks burning.
“Why won’t you look at me?” I can hear the smile in his voice. He knows that what he said inside is making me blush. I say nothing but I am grinning ear to ear now. My breath is fogging up the window and I wonder if he can see my reflection smiling in the glass.
“Well, I guess we can just sit here then until you talk to me.” I know he’s still looking at me with that gorgeous smile of his. I really could just sit here and stare out the window all evening and not say another word, to make a point, but I know how ridiculous that sounds. I slowly turn my body towards him in the seat, still grinning.
“Why so red in the face?” He teasingly asks. Arse. He knows why. I look down at my fidgety fingers while my cheeks blush even hotter. He sighs real heavy. “I didn’t think a small statement like that would you get you this hot and bothered.”
My eyes flash back up to meet his. “I’m not hot and bothered.” I try to play it off best I can.
“You’re not? Really? Because your beautiful blushing cheeks show otherwise.”
I squirm in my seat. Damn blushing cheeks, gives it away every time. I can keep a poker face but I can’t control the heat. “I’m fine. It’s just that your comment in there took me by surprise is all. You’ve not said anything like that to me before.” My eyes dart away again.
“I haven’t?” He asks aloud. I look back at him and he looks like he is surprised by that. I return the same look of surprise back at him. “Of course not.” He answers his own question and then his face starts to soften as reaches over and takes both my hands in his. What is he doing? I just sit there with a blank look on my face.
“I have had an appetite for you from the moment I laid my eyes on you.” Grant’s tone is serious and his eyes now look like they are burning with desire as he says this to me. Of course the heat is spreading through my cheeks again from this revelation. I sit there unsure of what to say next. I know what I’m thinking, what’s taking so long! But I dare not say that out loud. I know he is waiting for me to give him some sort of reaction. My mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out, so I shut it again.
“Cat got your tongue, Raven?” He smirks. God I love how he says my name. I feel a burning deep in my belly that is trying to radiate up and ignite my cheeks even more. I swallow and take a deep breath.
“I didn’t know you felt that way about me.” That’s all I can say right now. At least it’s an honest statement.
“Well, I do.” He says. “You’re beautiful Raven. And I can see there is more to you than just a pretty face.” This makes me smile. “And,” he continues, “I don’t know why I have not told you this before now, but I honestly can’t wait to show you just how big my appetite is. I. Want. To. Eat. You. Up.”
My jaw drops open as my eyes widen. Well now, I was not expecting that. Not here, not now. I don’t have much time to think because Grant quickly closes the space between us, cups my face in his hands and starts to kiss me; and I let him. I’m too stunned to do anything else.
Copyright2014 – ND White

Ravens Innocence ~ Unedited Excerpt

I gasp as I am quickly rounding a corner and Grant steps out and grabs my arm and pulls me back around the side of the wall. “Oh my gosh Grant, you scared the hell out of me.”
“Sorry. I could tell you weren’t going to see me so I grabbed you before you got away. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologizes.
I’m breathing hard as I look up into his turquoise eyes. “I’m okay. It’s okay.” I mutter. “I was coming to find because I wanted to ask you if –“
“We could just get the hell out of here?” He finishes for me.
“You don’t mind? I mean, I know it’s a waste of tickets but we can’t even talk to each other in there.”
“Are you kidding me? That’s the last place I want to be. I hate this.” He motions his hands towards the crowds of people walking past us.
I give him a puzzled look.
“What’s wrong?” He asks me.
“I thought you loved hockey.” I say.
He returns the puzzled look and pauses for a moment. “I do. I love hockey.” Grant runs his hands through his hair and breathes a heavy sigh. “I just don’t like all these people. It’s too crowded and the noise has given me a headache.” He stands in front of me and puts his arms on my shoulders and gives me a playful smirk. “Besides, with all this commotion going on around us, I’m too distracted to do this.” And with that, he leans in and gently starts to kiss me. What a pleasant surprise this is. I feel myself starting to lean back a little far and almost fall backwards out of his grip when he quickly grabs my arms and smiles.
“Going somewhere?” He asks.
I swallow and feel my face heating up. I let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry, I was slipping.”
“I’m glad I was here to catch you.” His eyes are locked with mine.
“You’re the reason I almost fell.” I whisper, unable to break my eyes from his stare.
“And you’re the reason I’m so distracted.” He is so close to my face that I feel every breath he takes ripple down my neck. I am so weak in the knees right now. I want him to take me out of here, away from this place, to somewhere private, and let me distract him some more.
Grant slowly pulls away from me. I want to gravitate towards him but I don’t move. “Let’s get out of here.” He says.
“Where are we going?”
“I suddenly have an appetite. And it’s not for food.” He grabs my hand and starts to lead
me through the building towards the nearest exit.
Copyright2014-ND White

Life Happens

Life happens. It doesn’t slow down or stop just because you’re having a bad day. Life will throw you curveballs. Some days you’ll feel like things just can’t get any better. Other days you will wonder if someone above just really hates you. As you go through life you spend a lot of time looking back and reflecting on the choices you have made. You worry about the choices you are going to make. You worry about things you cannot change or control. And sometimes you don’t change the things that you can or should. When faced with a dilemma, you ask people for advice. Some will give it to you even when you don’t ask. You can try to rationalize it all that you want to in your head. You can look at the pros, and then at the cons. You try to be realistic and look at all possible outcomes. You ultimately drive yourself crazy trying to make sense of everything and listening to what everyone else has to say and think that you should do. But ultimately, the voice that matters the most….the one that has all the answers…..the voice that will tell you what to do if you will just shut up and listen….it doesn’t live in your head….it doesn’t come from your spouse, your family, or even your best friend. The voice comes from within. Only you know what is good for you. Only you can know what the right decision will be for you. If you will stop, wait, and just listen…..you’ll get all the answers that you need. After you get those answers, whether or not they were the answers you were looking for…..that is when you just close your eyes and jump. At that moment you know that the faith that gave you those answers is the same faith that will keep you from falling, but let you fly instead.