I cry out as my legs give way and I slowly slump down onto the dock. I sit with my back against the railing and draw my knees up to my chest and bury my face in my gloved hands. I am sobbing uncontrollably. My heart is wrenching in pain and feels like it might explode through the front of my chest. For a moment I am thankful that no one else is here to witness my emotional breakdown. Lately the park has been secluded this time of evening, right before dusk. The temperatures are beginning to drop even more each day as that bitter cold northern air brings us closer to winter.
I continue to weep, for how long, I’m not sure. I feel my body eventually start to relax as my heavy sobs turn into just a slow steady stream of tears. I finally lift my face and realize that the sun is setting around me. The moon looks full as its light starts to dance across the lakes water. I am suddenly aware of the chill in the air as I start to shiver……….
The wave of dizziness passes and I let go of the railing in an attempt to stand up completely on my own. I really don’t feel so well. I take in a deep breath and start walking back towards my Jeep. I only make it a couple of steps though before I stumble and slam down onto the dock, barely catching myself with my hands before my face eats the wooden walkway. Damn that hurt! My head is spinning again and I feel very close to passing out. I can’t believe this is happening, not now……….
I feel my body weakening. My arms give out from underneath me as I start to relax down onto the cold dock, through no control of my own. My phone slips from my hand as my grip weakens, but before I can press the emergency dial button. Oh God. I can’t move. My eyelids are growing heavy. The light is fading away. I try to cry out for help, but the sound that escapes my lips is barely a whisper. It doesn’t matter anyways. No one is out here to hear my cry for help.
I guess this is it. It’s not so bad; peaceful and easy actually. Better than dying from a broken heart I guess…
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