Grant slowly releases me as I turn to face him. His eyebrows are drawn together and he has a confused look on his face. I can tell that he is waiting for me to react to Kat’s accusation, but I don’t know what to say, because she’s right. We stand there looking into each other’s eyes; neither one of us knowing what to say or who should go first.
“How about we go sit down,” he finally suggests. I nod and turn to leave the bathroom, Grant stays close behind. I make my way to my bed and sit down on the edge of it. He stands for a moment hesitating, and I motion with my eyes for him to sit down beside me.
“You’re really here.” My voice is shaky. I’m trying not to cry, again.
“Yes, Raven, I’m really here.” He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“Why?” I ask.
“I needed to see you.”
“But why? Why now?”
“I needed to see you. I needed to make sure that you’re okay.” Grant’s face is full of concern and remorse.
“Do I look okay to you?” He flinches at my hateful tone.
“I’m sorry Raven.” Grant drops his head.
“You’re sorry?” I suddenly feel pissed off. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through these past few weeks?” I feel myself being swallowed by a fit of rage.
“No, I don’t…and yes, I’m sorry…” Grant is stammering over his words. He clearly doesn’t know what to say or do.
“How could you do that! How could you up and leave like that without saying anything! Do I mean so little to you! Fuck!” I struggle to wipe the tears that are now streaming once again down my cheeks. I am angry at myself for looking so weak and vulnerable. I don’t want him to see me like this. I have cried enough tears for this man.
“Raven please…” Grant scoots in closer to me. He looks as if he wants to reach out and touch me but isn’t sure if he should. Instead he keeps his hands in his lap. His face is filled with desperation.
“Please what!” I bite. “What in the hell do you want from me!”
Copyright ©2015 –ND White