My hand is shaking as I swipe the screen of my phone. I don’t recognize my own voice when I say hello. It’s a quivering a whisper.
“Raven…” Hearing Grant’s voice, saying my name like he does, rocks me to the core. My legs almost give out from under me. I have to sit down. I practically stumble right into the end of my bed before catching myself with my free hand. “Raven, are you there?” he asks.
I don’t know, am I? “Yes, I’m here” I stutter as I try to make myself comfortable on my bed. I hear him breathing on the other end, unsure of what to say next, hoping he takes the initiative to start this conversation.
“Thank you for picking up,” he finally says.
“Did I really have choice?” I bite back. Jeesh, where did that come? I hear him take in a deep breath and then slowly exhale.
“Actually, you did Sweetheart. I told you so in the note I left for you.”
Sweetheart…wait, what a condescending Ass! You’re mad Raven. Stay mad! “According to your note Grant, no matter which choice I made, it was still going to result in me having this conversation with you.”
“Yes, you are correct. Although, I admit that I was hoping you would have chosen to not take my call so that I would have been forced to come back to your apartment and see you.” I hear him smirking and something about this statement makes my blood boil.
“Why in the hell would I want to see you after what you did to me!” I snap. Don’t cry Raven. Stay mad.
“That’s fair. I deserve that.” His tone has softened, but it’s not softening me. I feel my anger igniting.
“That’s not all you deserve,” I coldly respond. My eyes are starting to burn from fighting off the tears that are threatening to escape. My whole body is beginning to shake and I slowly rock back and forth on my bed to try and comfort myself and keep myself together. I’m being flooded with emotions that are fighting each other for control. “What do you want Grant?” That is exactly what I want to know right now.
“I wanted to talk to you.” He pauses but I say nothing. “I have been worried about you and I needed to make sure that you were okay.”
“Okay?” I sarcastically repeat. “You wanted to make sure that I’m okay?” My voice is rising along with my temper.
“Yes, like I said, I’ve been worried about you,” he cautiously answers.
And that right there makes something inside me break. “You’ve been worried? If you were so worried, why has it taken you three fucking weeks to call me!” He starts to say something but I cut him off. “You weren’t so worried about me the day you up and disappeared without so much as giving me a fucking good-bye!” I’m screaming. Bile is rising in my throat and I’m doing all I can to choke it back down.
“Raven, please. Calm down, and hear me out.”
“Calm down?” Oh hell no… “How in the hell do you expect me to calm down after what you did! You have no idea what this did to me! What I’ve been through!” Hot tears are now streaming down my cheeks. I don’t even remember getting up off the bed, but now I find myself pacing my bedroom floor.
“Don’t you dare! Don’t you fucking dare tell me how sorry you are right now.” I am enraged.
“And don’t fucking call me Sweetheart!” I whip around and find Kat standing in the doorway of my bedroom. I didn’t even notice her coming in…
Copyright ©2015 –ND White