I turn the engine off and take a deep breath. I am so worked up over this. I should have called my Aunt Hope and talked to her on my drive here. Besides Kat, Hope has been my rock since my mother passed away. She has become a friend, a confident, and a mother figure to me. She is one of the most level headed, honest, and realistic people that I know. And when I feel like life is spiraling out of control, she always knows what to say to slow me back down and bring me back to earth. I had been so caught up in the unfortunate turn of events these past few days that I haven’t even had time to call her and fill her in on anything. She doesn’t even know what happened with Grant’s brother and how Grant treated me. I wouldn’t have had enough time to fill her in any way I guess. Note to self, call Aunt Hope tomorrow after work and get her up to speed on my life.
I startle when my cell phone rings. I dig it out of my purse, it’s Grant. “Well, how long do you plan on sitting in my drive-way?” Grant asks before I even have time to say hello. I look to my left and I see his silhouette peeking at me out of the big picture window next to his front door.
“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something. I’m coming.” I respond as I slide out of my jeep and start up the walk-way to his front porch. I hit the end button on my phone and drop it back in my purse as I approach the house.
“About me, I hope.” Grant is standing in the entry way already holding the door open when I step up onto the porch. Our eyes lock and I stop walking, maybe even breathing, and just look at him. His beautiful lips are just slightly turned up in what I would call a devilish grin, and his turquoise eyes look as if they are staring right through me. He is wearing a dark gray t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of tennis shoes. He even makes casual look so damn sexy. Was he this sexy before he left town? I get that breathless feeling I did the first time I laid eyes on him.
“Whatever it is that you have on your mind has rendered you speechless I see.”
I let out a nervous laugh. “I was just thinking how gorgeous you are and how much I have missed you.” I step forward and get ready to wrap my arms around him for a much needed hug when he shoves his hands into his pockets and steps aside. I nearly fall in through the front door from being completely caught off guard by his rejection.
“Alrighty then. Come on in.” Grant says. He just stands there looking at me and his devilish grin has been replaced by a cold distant look I don’t recognize.
“Okay—” What the hell! I am shouting in my head. I don’t even know how to react to what he just did. I haven’t seen him for two weeks and this is the reaction that I get when I try to hug him! This is so not what I expected.
I stand there and hold his gaze until he finally uncomfortably shifts and clears his throat. “I don’t—” he pauses. “ I don’t know why I just did that.”
“Maybe I should go.” I turn around to leave and he grabs my arm.
“No. Stay. I’m sorry.” Grant starts to stumble on his words. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t mean to step away when you tried to hug me. You just—” He stops and I can see that he is searching for the right words to finish what he is saying.
“I just what, Grant?” The hurt is very apparent in my voice.
“You just caught me off guard, you know. I didn’t expect you…”
“To hug you?” I interrupt him and I am almost shouting when I do. “Really Grant? Since when am I not allowed to touch you! Especially when I haven’t seen you for two weeks. Especially after what happened with your brother! Especially since I thought I was your—” I can’t even finish the sentence. I am choking back the sobs now. I can’t believe I haven’t been here for five whole minutes and this is happening. What is this any way! What is happening here exactly!
Grant lets go of my arm and runs his hands through his hair. “You’re my what?” he asks.
I stare at him in disbelief that he just asked me that. Maybe I have completely misread the last few weeks we have spent together. No, we haven’t officially said that we are boyfriend and girlfriend, but we’re also not in high school either. Do people even really say that to each other at our age? Hey, will you be my girlfriend? How ridiculously cheesy does that sound?
“Apparently I’m not what I thought I was.” I say through gritted teeth. I turn once again and walk out the front door and head down the steps of the front porch. I am angry and I am hurt and I feel like a complete fool. I am also so confused by what just happened. I need to get out of here and away from him before I cry in front of this Jerk.
“Raven, stop. We need to talk about this.” Grant calls after me. I ignore him and keep walking towards my jeep. I hear him coming after me and I pick up my own pace. Just as I grab the door handle Grant grabs my arm, whips me around, and pins me to the jeep. “I said Stop, Raven.”
Grant is leaning into me with all of his weight so that I can’t move. His face is just inches from mine. His jaw is locked tight and his eyes are so dark that I can’t even see his pupils. I am completely stunned by his behavior and quite honestly, I’m just a little bit scared right now too; but I refuse to let him see that.
“Grant, you are squashing me. Please. Back. Off.” I try to push him back but he doesn’t budge. I can’t move him either. Just when I feel the anxiety starting to rise deep within me, I feel his body relax and he steps away from me, but only far enough back for me to breathe.
“Thank You.” I let out a heavy sigh. “What the hell was that all about? Have you lost your mind?” I am no longer feeling the need to sob. Now I am just pissed off.
“I’m quite sane right now if you really need to know. “
“I’m seriously doubting that right now.” I glare at him.
Grant looks at me with cold dark eyes and then I see the corners of his mouth turn up before he lets out a wickedly sexy laugh. There is nothing about this that I find funny right now, and I am fighting the urge to slap him senseless.
“I’m glad that you find this so funny because there is not one thing about any of this that is funny!” I snap at him. I’ve had enough of this shit and I’m done. I turn to open my door and he slams his hand down on it so hard I jump. Now, I’m really ready to let him have it. I whip around to tear into him and he grabs my face with both hands and brings his mouth down onto mine before I have time to even think about what he is doing. He forces his tongue into mouth and weaves his hands into my hair and kisses me like he needs this to breathe.
He stops for a second and looks into my eyes like he’s searching for confirmation from me to keep going or to stop, but my head is spinning with uncertainty right now and I don’t even know what I want. I’m just trying to breathe. He brings his mouth back onto mine a second time and presses into me until I fall back into the side of my jeep. He kisses me deep and hard. His tongue is tasting mine.
He continues to kiss me until he starts to taste the salt from tears that have sprung loose and are streaming down my cheeks. Damn it, I was not going to let him see me like this, but I am so overwhelmed by hurt, anger, and confusion, that crying is the only release that I have right now.
He pulls back. “Why are you crying Raven?” He sounds so profound when he asks me this. He reaches his hand up and caresses my cheek as if he is wiping away my tears. I close my eyes and continue to let my tears fall…… Copyright 2014 ND White